freeallnovels Chapter 785: Yukino, You Want to Kill Her
Chapter 785: Yukino, You Want to Kill Her
Yukino Yukinoshita actually understood very clearly that as long as she refused to dwell on what "Little Yukino" said—treated every word from "Little Yukino" as nothing more than absurd jokes, letting them go in one ear and out the other—then she would basically not be affected by those piercing remarks.
Yukino Yukinoshita knew this in her heart. She knew it especially clearly.
Yet even so, every time she heard what "Little Yukino" said, she still could not help being influenced by those words. Her emotions would grow restless, irritable, even giving rise to murderous intent.
It was as if "Little Yukino" truly represented the darkest part of her heart. Every sentence she spoke struck precisely at Yukino Yukinoshita’s most sensitive nerves.
The reason Yukino Yukinoshita felt murderous intent toward "Little Yukino," wanting to erase her with the cruelest possible methods, was not only because of her repeated provocations.
There was another reason. Although Yukino Yukinoshita had never acknowledged anything "Little Yukino" said, and every time after she finished speaking she would deliberately mock her in return or throw out harsh words about wanting to kill her, if one had to describe it accurately, then what Yukino was doing was more like a liar whose deception had been exposed—flustered, trying desperately to cover it up through various actions and words. The reason Yukino Yukinoshita wanted to kill "Little Yukino" was because she was afraid.
Every time she finished listening to what Little Yukino said, a kind of subconscious agreement would immediately surface in her heart, as though those words truly were the most real and darkest part of her inner self.
Yukino Yukinoshita did not want to admit that what "Little Yukino" spoke were actually her own true thoughts. She refused to accept that the deepest part of her heart could be so dark.
She refused to acknowledge it, and so she constantly tried to find ways to kill "Little Yukino," to erase her.
But the more she thought that way, the more frequently Little Yukino would appear, speaking one sharp, irrefutable sentence after another. It was as though she had become a lingering curse that would not disperse, to the point that Yukino Yukinoshita had even begun to wonder whether she might be suffering from split personality disorder.
Seeing that Yukino Yukinoshita had yet to take any action, Little Yukino let out a cold laugh and repeated what she had just said:
"O useless literary girl Yukino Yukinoshita~ Instead of threatening me here and shouting about killing me, why don’t you listen carefully to the sounds outside the bathroom~ Heh, truly delightful to the ears~ Of course, if you have the courage to open the door a crack and peek outside, then it might not only delight the ears... it may delight the eyes as well."
Hearing those piercing words once again, Yukino Yukinoshita, having slightly steadied herself, let out a cold laugh and replied with feigned firmness:
"Are you some kind of broken record? Or have you already run out of things to say, so impoverished in vocabulary that you can only repeat what you just said to try and pressure me? Unfortunately for you, I don’t take such petty tricks to heart."
Although Yukino Yukinoshita’s words were filled with confidence, there was also a trace of forced bravado mixed within. She did not understand why "Little Yukino" had repeated herself again, so she could only convince herself—with a bit of stubborn pride and self-comfort—that it was because Little Yukino had run out of words.
Unexpectedly, Little Yukino countered in an even more extreme tone:
"Don’t be in such a hurry to declare your own victory. Besides, have you really won?
"You think you’re qualified to wrestle with me?
"Heh, you’re not. From beginning to end, I never once intended to compete with you, because the outcome has already been decided. The victor will definitely be me.
"It’s like a competition. If you already know you’re going to win, would you still feel any desire to participate? Once the result is known, going through the process only becomes boring."
"Then why did you repeat yourself like a broken record just now?"
After hearing that, although Yukino Yukinoshita felt disappointed that she had failed to outmaneuver "Little Yukino," she was not particularly surprised. After all, she had never truly won against her.
"Because you were spacing out, so out of kindness I repeated what I just said. What were you thinking about? Thinking about how to snatch Kotomi back from Yui while still earning Yui’s forgiveness? Or were you thinking about how to kill me?"
"Of course I was thinking about how to kill you. I wish I could kill you right now and make you die in the most miserable way possible. I truly wish I were some kind of dismembering murderer who could even kill ghosts. That way, whether you’re my second personality or some vengeful spirit, I could easily slaughter you!"
By the end of her sentence, Yukino Yukinoshita’s originally calm tone had turned into one of clenched teeth.
"Heh, I am neither your second personality nor some vengeful spirit. I am simply the most genuine, the most rational, and also the darkest side of your heart. You may find what I say unpleasant, but what can you do? Many of those words are things you yourself have accumulated in the deepest part of your heart—things you most want to say."
"I may not like talking much, but I’m not antisocial. If there’s truly something I want to say, I wouldn’t keep it bottled up inside forever," Yukino Yukinoshita said calmly.
"Because you’re a coward. You don’t dare to speak, you don’t dare to act, yet you refuse to admit your own cowardice. So you blame everything on the excuse of [it’s not the right time yet]. Using that excuse, little by little, you grow more and more accustomed to it. And the more accustomed you become, the more words and actions pile up in your heart—things you want to say and want to do."
Little Yukino’s words struck straight to the heart, causing Yukino Yukinoshita’s expression to change.
Here it comes again.
That feeling of wanting to loudly refute what "Little Yukino" said, yet not knowing how to argue back—while her subconscious had already agreed with those words from the very first moment.
Just as Yukino Yukinoshita was racking her brain, trying to think of how to refute her, Little Yukino glanced lightly at the bathroom door. Her eyes seemed capable of piercing through it, looking at the scene unfolding outside at this very moment.
"If you want to argue with me, I can accompany you without reservation. I can argue until you can no longer say a single word. But right now, I still suggest you go listen to what’s happening outside the bathroom.
"Of course, just as I said earlier, if you can muster a little more courage, you could open the door a crack and take a peek at what’s happening outside.
"Listening alone will only delight the ears. Listening and watching—that would delight both ears and eyes."
As she said this, Little Yukino’s voice turned seductive, like a devil tempting someone to open Pandora’s box. Her tone was filled with persuasion and allure.
"Using the excuse of ’taking a cold shower,’ you ran away from Kotomi and Yui like a stray dog chased from its home. Yet you don’t even realize that by doing so, you’ve completely created an opportunity for the two of them to be alone together.
"Or could it be that Miss Literary Girl Yukino Yukinoshita is someone who enjoys sharing—or perhaps has certain special inclinations? Are you willingly letting the girl you love, Kotomi Izumi, spend time alone with your best friend, deliberately creating private time for them? If that’s really the case, then I truly admire you."
Little Yukino’s words directly challenged Yukino Yukinoshita’s bottom line.
"What are you talking about? I’ve never thought that!"
Yukino Yukinoshita’s hands clenched unconsciously, as if she were strangling someone’s throat. Her tone was filled with clenched teeth.
It was unclear whether the ferocity in her heart at this moment was directed toward Little Yukino, who continuously mocked her with words, or toward Kotomi Izumi’s girlfriend—her own best friend—Yui Yuigahama.
"You really never thought that? Don’t joke with me. Of course, it’s also possible that deep down, what you’re thinking is even worse.
"After learning that your best friend and the girl you love are together, you simply can’t sincerely bless them. So you keep running away like this, constantly deceiving yourself. Over time, in that already dark heart of yours, some brutal thoughts naturally began to form.
"For example... finding an opportunity to kill Yui. Thinking that as long as Yui dies, Kotomi will become your girlfriend."
Little Yukino spoke coldly, without the slightest emotional fluctuation in her tone.
Hearing those words, Yukino Yukinoshita’s eyes widened abruptly. She admitted that after learning Yui had become Kotomi’s girlfriend, she had indeed felt envy toward Yui, jealousy toward Yui, even a faint trace of resentment.
That resentment was not only toward Yui, but even more toward herself—resentment that she had not realized her feelings for Kotomi sooner, that she had not gathered her courage earlier to convey them.
If only I had realized it sooner... would the one who became Kotomi’s girlfriend have been me instead of Yui...? Yukino Yukinoshita had asked herself that question countless times in her heart.
But no matter what, Yukino Yukinoshita believed she had never harbored murderous intent toward Yui.
After all, she was not some kind of killer. The only one she had ever truly felt murderous intent toward was Little Yukino.
"Is it fun to fabricate other people’s thoughts?" Yukino Yukinoshita retorted coldly.
She had expected Little Yukino to continue lying, but unexpectedly, after being confronted like that, Little Yukino seemed to deflate. Shrugging with a hint of helplessness, she said:
"How boring. I was hoping to use this chance to make you develop murderous intent toward Yui Yuigahama. Maybe after a while I’d get to see rivers of blood. Didn’t expect it to fail this time."
Upon learning that the previous accusation had been fabricated, Yukino Yukinoshita first let out a sigh of relief. It seemed she truly had never developed murderous intent toward her best friend. Then she said in a low voice:
"Since childhood, I never had a single friend. Yui Yuigahama is my first friend. I may kill you a thousand times in my mind using the cruelest methods imaginable, and constantly search for chances to eliminate you, but—I will absolutely never harbor murderous intent toward Yui. I cherish the friendship between us. Otherwise, I wouldn’t..."
By the end, Yukino Yukinoshita’s tone, which had regained some firmness, weakened once again.
"Otherwise, you wouldn’t clearly want to snatch Kotomi away from Yui, yet hesitate to act because you’re afraid of destroying the friendship between you and Yui."
Little Yukino kindly "helped" her finish the sentence she had lacked the courage to say.
"Shut up!"
Yukino Yukinoshita’s murderous intent toward Little Yukino deepened even further. She wished she could slice her into a thousand pieces, because... that final sentence Little Yukino had added was indeed exactly what she had wanted to say—but failed to utter.
As if unwilling to continue arguing over that topic, Little Yukino casually lifted a finger and pointed toward the door, smiling lightly.
"It’s almost over. Aren’t you really going to listen? Or perhaps... aren’t you really going to watch and listen?"
"You’ve been going on about listening and watching this whole time."
"Instead of complaining that I’m repeating myself, why not go take a look—or have a listen—right now?"
Little Yukino said with a cheerful smile.
"How boring."
Even as she said that, Yukino Yukinoshita walked to the bathroom door and quietly pushed it open a crack. It was as if peeking and listening to what was happening outside had been her intention all along.
Through the narrow gap, Yukino Yukinoshita saw Kotomi Izumi sitting beneath the heated table in the living room, looking so lazy she seemed to have fallen asleep, a segment of mandarin orange still lightly held between her lips, not yet swallowed.
Yui Yuigahama, worried that Kotomi might feel uncomfortable sleeping like that, yet unwilling to wake her with large movements, had brought over a pillow and carefully placed Kotomi’s small head upon it.
Watching that warm and ordinary scene of daily life between them, Yukino Yukinoshita’s face remained expressionless. Yet in her heart, there was an indescribable sense of envy.
"Kotomi is sleeping, and Yui is bringing her a pillow. What’s there to see?"
Yukino Yukinoshita withdrew her gaze and quickly shut the door. It was not because she feared being discovered while peeking and listening. She was simply afraid that if she continued watching, she would no longer be able to suppress the envy, jealousy, and resentment in her heart.
"Why did it end so quickly? Is Yui Yuigahama even capable?"
Little Yukino clicked her tongue in complaint. A question mark surfaced in Yukino Yukinoshita’s mind. For a moment, she did not quite understand what Little Yukino meant by that remark.
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